Mother's Day Graduate

Twenty years ago today I graduate from college.  It was a bittersweet day as I had imploded after my mom’s death and was graduating 2 years late and by thread.  And, it was Mother’s Day. 

I have an irrational hate of Mother’s Day now.  I know it’s crazy, but there it is. 

As we move into graduation season, I want to remind people how asinine and thoughtless it is to hold graduations on Mother’s Day.  Doing so takes a momentous, usually happy, day and makes it an emotional cluster-fuck for many.

There are the motherless who are already dealing with not having their mom with them on an important day.  Now, they have to have that loss compounded amidst all the Mother’s Day celebrations.  No mom at graduation or Mother’s Day.  Fabulous.  Just twist that knife that is already piercing my heart. 

Then there are the children of divorce.  I’ve listened to many a friend prepare with dread to navigate the dreaded interplay of warring parents and awkward step-parent interplay.  I have often told them that death seems easier to handle.  My mom is dead, which clearly sucks, but my family is my family.  Too often, divorce just leaves the children – even the adult children – squarely in the middle between a rock and hard place.  Throw Mother’s Day to the graduation mix and uncomfortable does not begin to describe the experience. 

Someday, I hope that graduation celebrations become Mother’s Day free.  Let the kids breathe a little easier.